i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize