i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
