There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
love makes seman taste better
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
