____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
