wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
