Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
