I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
