i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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