flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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