I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
