How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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