his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
