Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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