He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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