I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
no, he came in my armpit
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
