i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
