you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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