There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
