so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize