How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
