People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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