I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
