There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
