We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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