I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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