Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
