Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
