we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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