the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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