there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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