Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I smell like Dick and happiness
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
