My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
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