Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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