first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize