I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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