I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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