happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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