Where is the hickey?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
