on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
