Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize