Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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