Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
