Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
