guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize