farters have to be the big spoon...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
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