ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
50% drunk capacity currently
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
