A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he fucked my hip out of place.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize