i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
