I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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