Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
