Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
