On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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