Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
