quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
