As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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