idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
