Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
