Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
time to smoke my breakfast
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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