Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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